Fried Mommy With A Side Of Coffee

Fried Mommy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HOW TO FRY A MOMMY in just a few simple steps:

 

Child goes missing (briefly)

Child's clothing (all of it) laying by the swing

Said child found naked in the woods

Child drawing on the house with crayon

Child drawing on cars with chalk

Child attempting to pull door off hinges

Child pulling the door paneling off the door

Child pulling outlet cover off the outlet while screwed to the wall

Child screaming unnaturally loudly

Child swooshing dvd player, apple TV gadget & Wii console onto the floor 

Child hiding red wagon up the street near the swamp so he could run back to tell me about it

Child running away when called and then sitting in the middle of the street to wait for me

Child cutting his shorts with scissors

Child trying to cut hair with scissors

Child drawing on walls in house with crayon

Child refusing medicine

Child purposefully projectile vomits medicine across the room

Child grabs medicine in cup and spills on the floor

Child attempts to puke up medication multiple times

Child pees on floor in room multiple times a day

Child cleans up floor in room with direct supervision multiple times a day

Child poops on floor in room and tracks it all over room

Child throws electronics

Child pours milk on computer

Child pours milk into coffee and then onto iPad

 

This is the incomplete list of ONE child's summer "fun" out of our home of 4 little darlings.

And some times, this may be a list completed all in one day!

Anyone else out there relate to this? 

Oh, the joys of summer "break" with kids who NEED nonstop structure and simultaneously do NOT WANT that structure put in place for them.  

 

INTERVENTION PLEASE!

 

Yes, I have tried:

Routines

Prayer

Picture schedules

Praying

Kid-created routines

More praying

Natural consequences

Fervent praying

Positive reinforcement

Persistant prayer

Negative reinforcement (out of desperation)

Did I mention praying?

I followed all recommendations from those who recommend, to the best of my ability considering I have other children to care for...

And I sit here typing with my beloved coffee to help me keep up with them just a little bit better than I have been,

and I am fried!  

 

A CHURCH, A VILLAGE, AND A SCHOOL

 

Despite all my failed attempts to curtail my son's behavior, all is not lost:  

God has heard my cries for help!

IT TAKES A CHURCH

God prompted a dear friend from our church and MOPS to ask how they could help and took it upon herself to find people who may be able to help us!

We aren't meant to do this life alone. 

We are meant to do it in the context of community,  especially with the help of the Body of Christ.

IT TAKES A VILLAGE

Our case manager has referred us to HCT (Home & Community Therapy) services--intensive in-homes supports with a focus purely on behavior. This service comes with a behavioral specialist, social worker and support staff! This is a short term program that usually lasts 6 months. Then, the long term specialized in home supports services will be in place that focuses on behavior and daily living skills.

And best of all?  There is ZERO waiting list. We will probably meet with the agency next week or two!  

This is huge news considering the past few weeks our case manager said there is no hope of in specialized in-home supports happening any time soon due to a long wait list and a shortage of behavioral specialists.

I am biting my internal tongue that begs to ask the question: Why wasn't this put in place before now? Why are we just now hearing of this option after all my cries for help and queries into WHEN specialized section 28 will be in place...after all my pleas to please get something in place before summer arrived?

But I know that God's timing is perfect. And even though I really think I should have known about this service option before, I also know that it wouldn't have happened until now anyway...because God's timing is just right. All the time. (Isn't that a nice tidbit of truth to defuse the situation?)

IT TAKES A SCHOOL

 Sometimes, it takes a Church, a Village AND a School...

On top of this incoming help, and the start of services in the next few weeks... THIS week, SUMMER SCHOOL STARTS!  Three days a week, 4 hours a day plus travel time....my boy will be in school.

Out of the house!

In a routine! (which is the primary reason FOR summer school)

And NOT bored!

PHEW!

Help is on the way!

And I could not be more grateful or more welcoming of this help that God is providing.

The floodgates have been opened.

A time of refreshing is on the way!

 

WORDS OF WISDOM 

 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:

If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.

But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.

But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

 

I would love to hear YOUR thoughts! 

 

 

 

 

When You Feel Powerless, Just Hang On

Just Hang On

I have a confession to make.  

Sometimes, I feel really incapable dealing with Stevie's aggressive behavior.  That's because I am incapable. I can't physically move him, as he often requires of me. I know, I should just tell him, "No, you need to walk." right? I wish it were so easy.  

You see, the way he "demands" me to physically get him to his room, is by creating a dangerous situation where something must be done.  So, for example, let say he decides to bang on the computer, or throw it.  His temper is rising and he is about to just start throwing random things around the house.  Considering there are 3 other siblings in the house, including a toddler, it is clear that at this point, he needs to go to his room to calm down.  But he won't go.  

So I decide I will try to help him calm down  in the room he is in. This never works, but I try anyway because it just seems like it should work!  So Stevie, knowing I am not putting him in his room as "I should" (according to him), starts grabbing things to throw. Or, follows after me to push me, or pull on my clothes. Or, he will go to one of his siblings and start picking on them, and if I still don't put him in his room, he will continue causing trouble like this to the point where it is NOT safe for anyone.  

This is the point where I begin to feel powerless.   I can't carry him to his room because of my many physical problems, and he won't go on his own. I have to protect my other kids (and the house) but like I said, he won't go, he won't calm down and I can't make him go. What's a girl to do?

Now I have gotten "lucky" a few times, by playing his OCD nature against himself. He doesn't want his baby sister in his bedroom so there is a gate here to keep her out.  One time I got the smarts to  take the gate down so he would want to go in to "protect his territory".

"Stevie, to to your room!"

"Put the gate up?"

"Go in your room first."

"Put the gate up!" He calls out as he trots to his room!  

For a while, all I had to do was call out, "DAAAAADDDYYYY!" and Stevie would run quickly to his room, sometimes giggling. That trick would work whether Daddy was in the house or not!  But now he is older and wiser and catching on to my tricks!

Well a few weeks ago I was just at my wits end with this, as neither of my clever tricks were working that well and he was having a particularly aggressive stretch.  I sat down in my comfy "brown chair",  to work on my Gideon Study by Pricilla Shirer.

She was talking about the passage in Judges chapter 6, where the Spirit of the Lord came upon Gideon (v.34).  In this case, this phrase means that the Spirit of the Lord embodied Gideon.    So basically, God put on Gideon like he'd put on his clothes.  If Gideon is draped over God like clothing, then ALL the muscles, bones, tendons, joints that Gideon needed to fight with, were actually God. It was God's strength that moved Gideon.  God embodied Gideon, and Gideon just needed to hang on to God.

When I move my arm up, my sleeve uses up zero energy or effort to follow along and move up with it. It effortlessly hangs on my body.  All Gideon had to do was just. hang. on. "The unseen authority of God's own Spirit was within Gideon now, filling him with the most lavish resource of all--divine power.  Gideon could enjoy complete confidence no matter how minuscule he deemed his army because he was only a vessel now, a chamber for God. He was merely God's outfit..." p.88 Gideon

All I have to do when I feel powerless with my son, is just. hang. on.

How minuscule my own strength is, it doesn't matter. It is God's strength that I need and he has a great supply. He will meet my needs (my family's needs) according to HIS resources, not mine.  

I just need to hang on for the ride.

When you feel powerless, all you need to do is let God give you a piggy back ride as He wins the battle purely on his own strength.

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9 

To read Pricilla Shirer's blog post on this subject, click here:  http://www.goingbeyond.com/blog/when-god-gets-dressed