How Sage Dealt With Anger

Tears stream down his wet face forming tiny rivers to his jaw line.

"I missed you, Mommy!  Why were you gone so long?  I'm mad. I'm angry. I wanted to go somewhere today!" 

"I'm sorry, Sage. I told you we probably wouldn't be able to fit in a trip today. I'm sure there will be other chances to go out tomorrow."

The palms of his hands squeegee the tears down from his cheeks as he continues with sobs and anger.

I was gone for about 2 1/2 hours. It was a "Mommy Time" night.

He wanted to come with me from the beginning, but I guarded my hard-to-get time and explained Mommy Time is when Mommy goes by herself.

And then, after he got more mad out than sad, after he expressed again that he didn't get to go anywhere and that going somewhere today was a "rule" that was broken...he just switched over.

It was like he flipped  a switch in his brain over to problem solving mode.

"I'm going to go someplace on Google Maps!" He announces. "I'm not here anymore. I am driving around in New Hampshire right now."

And just like that, a few minutes later he comes galloping to me--well, galloping as much as you can in a house littered with toys and snow gear (insert sigh).  

With smile on his face and emotions regulated, He calls, "I'm back! I was in New Hampshire but I am home now!"

"Welcome back!" I greet him with a returned smile. "Why don't you write about your trip in the new notebook I brought home for you. Or, you could draw the map of where you were!"

"Yeah. I'm gonna do that." he says, and he starts writing.

Later, I find him in his room, still writing!

 

 

Sage Writing Collage

He didn't write about his trip, which is kind of sad because I was really looking forward to learning what he did on the trip that took his mind off his anger.

He did show me his notebooks and all the stories and chapters he's written about Wall-E!

What really fascinates me about Sage, is that he is all out there with his feelings.

He doesn't care that it may not be cool to be ten years old,  and be so upset that Mommy left for a couple hours, or even that it may not be cool to cry.

It's how he feels so there it is. The lack of social awareness (one of the hallmarks of autism) grants him freedom where others may be restrained.

And even more neat about this scene, is how he handled his anger this time:

* He didn't hold on to it and keep a grudge through the night.

* He told me exactly what was bothering him and how he was hurt. And he dealt with it.

* He went to bed happy, with thoughts of what he would write next about Wall-E.

What a good example he gives of the verse:

"Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry." Ephesians 4:26b