Thoughts On Being “Mommynapped”


Stevie tries to capture me at bedtime. He asks for me to tuck him in and then he turns off the light and shuts his locked door to make sure I stay with him all night.

"Mommy's sleeping." he tells Daddy when he comes in to change places with me and take his turn to tuck Stevie in.

"Goodbye Daddy." he waves.

Daddy opens the door.

Stevie closes it.

Daddy taps it open another inch.

Stevie closes it again.

Next come Giggles.

"Goodnight Daddy!"

He turns off the light and jumps in the bed, where I have obediently stayed.

I'm pretty sure he wants to "mommynap" me. 

He's always been highly attached to me and spent most of his time sitting on my lap up until the age of 5 and a half, when baby Joy grew inside me and took over my lap.

I am not sure he ever got over being dethroned, or de-lapped in this case. I am sure he missed his exclusive time with Mommy.  Considering all the behavior issues and stress these days with my sweet, can-do-nothing-wrong boy, I am going to soak up all the  time with him that I can.

Savor every mommy-napping he commits.

When I worked in group homes, my co-workers always said that the people who have the hardest behavior to deal with made up for it by the equally intense, adorable and fun behavior at other times.

They were highly lovable, with qualities that you can't get just anywhere, and all the terrible behaviors seemed to melt away in the presence of the adorable, funny traits they show at other times.  So far, this theory has proven true.

And it proves true with our relationship with God as well.  Even after all our difficult behavior (sin), He loves to have our undivided attention.  

He loves to spend exclusive time with us and have us sit in His lap as he teaches us.

He is the Master of seeing the good in us. Because of Jesus, all our terrible behavior melts away as far as the East is from the West.

And best of all, He has a knack for seeing each of us as His favorite.

 He still does like me best, right along with all the others.  Just as I love each of my children as the very best one.

 So Stevie, you can keep on Mommynapping me at night (as long as it doesn't get too late) and

I will enjoy being the apple of your eye.

I will enjoy you as the apple of my eye.

And I will remember that God sees each of us as the apple of His eye.

Psalm 17:8 "Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings."

This post was originally published as "I Think He Still Likes Me Best",  Jan 4, 2014 on 

Getting Caught

One of the first things I remember thinking was a little odd regarding my older son, is that he didn't seem to be aware of my coming into a room, or leaving it. He was immersed in doing whatever he was doing--usually involving close inspection of electrical outlets, or opening and closing a cabinet door--that he just wasn't aware.

It wasn't that he didn't care if I was there or not, he very much did.

I remember one time when we had him and his twin sister stay at a friends house for a few hours while we went out to eat (those were the good ole days).

Sage was having so much fun discovering all there was to discover with the giant fluffy couch and shades, that he didn't respond when we said, "Goodbye!", even after multiple attempts.

While Sage was busy checking out the new house, Hope ran to us, crying, and didn't want us to leave her.

We didn't think Sage cared if we left or not.

The babysitters later told us that about 45 minutes after we left, he started crying and would not calm down, until we arrived.

It was not an attachment issue, as some writings on autism may lead you to believe. It was simply that he wasn't aware of what was going on in his surroundings.  Although he could hear the auditory information around him, he had no way to process it in a meaningful way.

He acted as if he were deaf.  For all practical purposes, he was.

Stevie was the same way as Sage, but he did have a hearing problem.  He had fluid in his ears for the 2nd year of life, and didn't have the opportunity to learn how to process sound until tubes were in place.

With our baby girl, now 15 months of age, I see the extreme opposite in her behavior.

The other day  while Joy was sleeping, I decided to sneak out and get my day started.

I gingerly step past her, walking down the stairs avoiding all the previously discovered squeaky planks, to the bathroom to take my shower.

By the time I was done, she was awake and up, playing happily in the kitchen.

In my attempt to be sneaky, I'd forgotten to bring clean clothes down, but on the couch was the fresh pile of clean laundry (the ONE pile next to the massive number of loads yet to do) so I figured I'd be real quiet and grab some clean clothes while she was in the kitchen.

In the past, as long as I could avoid eye contact with the little ones, I could get away with something like this.

But not with her!

She saw me quietly walk out and she trotted her little self quickly over to me, her foot patterns reminding me of my mother-in-law adding all that extra cuteness to the moment.

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. (James 4:8)

She didn't stop there though.  She walked around from behind me, to right in front of me. She looked up at me and lifted her arms for me to pick her up with that "Here I am!" expression on her adorable face.

In that moment, I decided to wear my pajamas a wee bit longer.  Clothes could wait; picking up my darling became the only thing on my agenda.

Joy confidently sought me out. She was aware of my 'comings and goings'.  Even when I was trying to hide it; she was intensely interested in finding me.

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.  (Hebrews 4:16)

Oftentimes we try to sneak around or hide from God so we can get what we want to do finished before He finds us.

But He knows, He sees. He is ever-watching, always aware of our every move. And even so, he passionately seeks us out to capture our attention--not because he needs something from us, but purely because he loves us and wants us to engage with Him.

Like Sage, we often care very much about God  and want to give him our attention, but we are distracted by the other things in life.  The distractions block our attention, so we aren't aware of the voice of God, calling for us to come to Him.

Or, maybe some of what God is saying to us does gets through, but we have not learned how to process it in a meaningful way.

Distractions are the fluid that blocks our hearing.

When God is trying to get our attention, we have to learn to process his voice as meaningful information.  Do we respond to Him?

Or, are our ears filled with distractions, needing tubes to drain away the extraneous auditory stimulation, vying for our attention, so we are able to hear what is important?

We may need surgery to put tubes in our ears, but it will be worth it.  He is chasing us down, like Joy chases me down, seeking us out to deepen our intensely desired relationship with Him.

Have you been caught by God?

Psalm 139: 1-12

O Lord, you have examined my heart
    and know everything about me.
You know when I sit down or stand up.
    You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
You see me when I travel
    and when I rest at home.
    You know everything I do.
You know what I am going to say
    even before I say it, Lord.
You go before me and follow me.
    You place your hand of blessing on my head.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too great for me to understand!

I can never escape from your Spirit!
    I can never get away from your presence!
If I go up to heaven, you are there;
    if I go down to the grave,[a] you are there.
If I ride the wings of the morning,
    if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
    and your strength will support me.
11 I could ask the darkness to hide me
    and the light around me to become night—
12     but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
    Darkness and light are the same to you.