The War Within Me

Heart InjectionThere is a very real war being fought inside of me.

My immune system has decided to attack my entire body with full intent to bring back no survivors. Little cells gone wild within have joined forces, calling themselves Rheumatoid Disease (RD), and have decided to attack my joints; they think my joints are the Enemy.

They also think any area of the body that has synovial membranes, is also the enemy--which includes the lining of the heart and lungs. For some reason I have yet to understand, it also attacks my skin and mucous membranes, causing secondary Sjogrens syndrome.

It really is a war.  It especially feels like a war when I inject my own army of blocker-cells (Humira) into my thigh every other week, and those little guys: they mean business!  They bind and they block.  They bind themselves to the those TNF cells (part of the RD army) so they aren't effective in causing inflammation and the TNF's are then blocked.

It kind of reminds me of the story of Gideon when God confused the enemy's army and they all killed each other, or Elisha when he was in battle and God blinded the enemy army!

So I was thinking (of course), about how similar this auto-immune stuff is to a spiritual battle.

Satan and his army are out there to steal, kill and destroy-- just like the RD army is.

And like the Humira army, Jesus is injected into us--into our hearts and He binds the Enemy; He blocks the lies by telling the truth.

With Humira though, it wears off... Jesus doesn't wear off.

Once He's inside, He's there forever.

But, we can loose touch with the Holy Spirit when stop paying attention...stop injecting our hearts with Scriptures and prayer.

We stop obeying.

We start listening to the Enemy.

And the Enemy army starts attacking.

With RD, I feel that attack pretty quickly in my joints.  But I don't feel what's going on deeper within.  Who knows if it's effected my organs or not?  I won't know until something goes wrong.

Sometimes, the Enemy is sneaky like that too.  He slowly pulls us down a road we should not be on and we don't realize it until something goes wrong.

Usually, very wrong.

And it hurts.

And RD hurts.

And we both need a Savior.

We need a good injection of our Binder and Blocker army on a regular basis.

At my small group yesterday, the leader asked me if I had any words of wisdom in all my many years (I just had a birthday) that I would like to share with everyone.

The first thing that came to mind was about my journey in learning to see God in everything: learning to set my mind on the good things, even amongst the bad and being thankful.

Seems simple, but what a battle that has been.

There are times that the battle has been so raging, that I don't want to see the good.  I want to be angry and have my temper tantrum.

But when I choose to stop and find God in that, and focus on God in that, then the lies are blocked, and I can see from a different perspective: God's perspective.

When we are seeing from God's perspective, we are injected with Truth.

And it's light is blinding to the Enemy. And it confuses the Enemy.

And it brings victory in the battle.

I think that I need more frequent injections of my Binder and Blocker army.

You, too?

"But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses." 1 Timothy 6:11-12)




Trading Places: An Easter Poem

He's alive

Trading Places

Catching a glimpse of His reflection
I turn around to see
The crown on his head
His blood trickling down
The price that set me free

The scars on his hands
His clothes dirty & torn
For this task He was born

My pain on His face
My sin is His robe
My hurts on Him unfold

I gaze on His face
Amazed at His grace
His passion shining through

Deep love in His eyes
He heard every cry
As my life He bravely rescued

He took it all and healed my soul
He traded places with me
With love ordained from Heaven above
Determined to set me free!

He died on that cross
His life He lost
Paid the ransom due

He rose again
And conquered death
Defeated all sin too

Once and for all
His children He’s saved
Dressed in His clothes, redeemed, washed clean

That we would be
always together
On earth and in Heaven

His Bride for Eternity.