The relentless, constant, unending, repetitive badgering.
The fighting, the yelling the screaming, the crying.
Day after day.
All hell broke loose a few minutes ago.
Sketch had just tried to go jumping on top of the van, again (his new favorite thing to do)
PolkaDot, so tired, was put in her crib. But, her favorite thing to do now is to throw her stuffed animals and pacifiers overboard and then cry because she can't sleep without them. (Don't you love that stage?)
I, riddled with aching joints, go to get PolkaDot, and then let Sketch out of his time-out that he earned by kicking PolkaDot because she was sitting on the floor instead of being held by me.
"Hold the baby?"
Here we go again. Twenty-four seven, he wants me to hold the baby.
I walk in to the computer room to text Mr. Incredible and see when he's coming home. We're supposed to be packing for a trip and getting ready for PolkaDots 1st birthday.
Sketch follows me. Polkadot is nestled in the chair with me as I tap on the keyboard.
"Hold the baby? Log-in window?" He demands. Again.
He is pretty much OCD about all computers being on the log-in window screen unless he's playing with it.
"Not right now, Sketch."
He continues to badger.
PolkaDot pulls herself up to her feet, and before I could blink my eyes, she landed with a thud, right on the side of her face.
"Hold the baby! Log-in window!"
I send Sketch back to his room.
PolkaDot continues to scream, her body thirsting for comfort.
This is how it's been for most of the summer. Unending.
We've had great moments in between the mind-boggling chaos.
It would be so easy to focus on all the bad things. All the This-Is-Too-Much-ness of it all.
But, to focus on that would be the beginning of an unending darkness. The "pit of despair" as it's described in The Prince Bride .
So I choose
after my own tempter tantrum instead, to focus on the the good things; to "Choose Joy" as Sherry Surratt talks about in her article I Choose Joy from MomSense Magazine's Summer 2012 edition. She says:
"It's so human to get caught up in what's wrong, what's broken, what's missing and to be crabby about it. But here's what I know: God wants me to choose joy. Contentment is my daily opportunity if only I'll slow down and notice the good things."
I really believe this is the secret to handling the impossible:
. To Believe that all things are possible for those who love God.
It is too hard by myself, but with God, I can do anything.
. To Believe that every good and perfect gift comes from the Father.
It isn't a coincidence.
. To Believe that God is there helping me, teaching me to see the positive.
He whispers in my ear, which way to go.
. To know that God is showing me, pointing out to me, the lovely, beautiful, good things that he as placed all around me.
He opens my eyes to see.
So I choose be grateful, to be thankful for all that He's given me.
When I do that, I see that the weight of all those good things is by far, heavier than all the bad.
"You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy"