Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head!

 

Raindrops

I've got a vision playing in my mind, that takes place about 20 years from now.  I am 60 years old, carrying my 25 year old Stevie,who won't step foot in the rain.  I'm wondering how that is going to work?

I am sure he'll come to tolerate the rain a bit better by then than he does now, but at this point, his total disgust and fear of the rain is getting worse, not better!

Today I was coming home from taking him to OT, and the darkened skies opened wide, spilling it's heavy rains to the earth.

When we got home, Stevie wanted just one thing:  to be in the house where it was dry.  There was just one problem with this what-should-be easily solved problem.

He has to get though the torrential downpour that is blocking his way between the car and the house.

At first he wouldn't even come near the car door.  When I opened it, with the umbrella in hand, he backed up away from the open-to-the-dreaded-rain door.  He was not ready to face his fear head-on....or, head under, as the case may be.

 

"Come on, Stevie, I'll carry you!  See?  I have an umbrella to keep you dry. It will be ok!"

"Are you all done? AHHHHH!"

"Stevie, it's ok, I'll carry you in and keep you dry!  Then you can get your blue blanket (his favorite thing)"

"Ahhh!  All Done!" Stevie screams and cries in objection.

It took about 5 minutes of convincing him that it is safe, and worth it, to let me carry him in.  He screamed all the way.  I'm sure the four steps to the porch and four stair-steps up to the door seemed to be more like 4 miles long, with each inch looming with the potential disaster of getting wet...of having "spots" on his shirt...of his shoes having a darker shade of leather than they did before...or...here's the worst... he may get wet hair!

But, it didn't happen.  I kept him dry, just as I promised...all the while getting my own feet wet from walking in puddles since I couldn't see the way while carrying him...my back was spotted with rain drop stains, my shoulders sore from coordinating the umbrella and Stevie at the same time.  But Stevie? He was ok.

Except, he didn't think he was.

If I thought he was screaming before, it was just a minor whimper in comparison to what came next.  Now that he's in the house and dry & safe, he lets loose with the high pitch alarm sounding scream...the one usually reserved for severe pain or terror!

Ignoring his screams, I sit with him by the fire place to get warm and dry.  I grab a extra-comfortable quilted blanket with a rainbow colored sunburst in the center, and wrap it around us both.

He giggles.

I squeeze, and he giggles in relief, again.

I just hold him and warm him and give him squeezes of pressure & hugs that make him feel safe.  (I really don't mind this part at all!)

We cuddle by the fire, feeling safe from the dangers outdoors.

Sometimes we have a storm in our lives, or a dreaded event, or something we just don't like.  And we have to endure it to get to the promised land of comfort & safety. And just like I carried Stevie in the house, God offers to guide and protect us as well, while we "walk through the valley of the shadow of death"  We don't need to fear any evil, for "your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:4

And even though we may be absolutely dreading the path we have to take, and it takes all we have to make that first step out of the door into the arms of God (who's holding us under a really big umbrella), God is there and He carefully takes us to the other side.  God takes the rain on his own shoes and back.  "He was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed."

And once we are safe... we may still feel a bit traumatized by the whole thing.  We may still want to throw our fit and scream:  "Did it really have to happen THAT way God???  Couldn't you magically get me here from the car while avoiding the rain???"

And God comes, and takes us by the warm fire of his presence, re-assures us with his Word, and wraps us with the Holy Spirit like a blanket, and comforts us.  And we relax. And we may giggle at how silly we were about the magic tricks, or the situation we dreaded so much but just turned out to be no big deal in comparison to God. "Everything is possible for him who believes." (Mark 9:23)

Often at the point of finally relaxing, we want to just move on. To get up and start doing things that need to be done.  But I encourage you to follow Stevie's example and to not do that.  Treasure the moment. Stop by the fire place and rest, soak in the love of our incredible Savior.  Rest in the presence of God, absorb the Words of God and soak in the comfort of the Holy Spirit.

It's still raining outside here in Maine, and maybe it is still raining where you are too. Maybe you are about to take that first step out of the car to make the journey to the other side, and to you I say:

Fear not, the God of the universe is waiting to take you safely over, hand-in-hand, or perhaps by carrying you all the way.


Originally posted October 6, 2010 on Treasures In The Dust.com

Letters to New Parents of ASD kids: #1 I Believe You

letter_writing

Dear new parent of a child with autism,

I'd prefer to be sitting across from you at a local coffee shop rather than sitting behind this glowing box tapping away on the keyboard. But this will have to do for now.

First of all, I just want you to know that I believe you! I believe everything you'd tell me about your child.  Things like those unusual behaviors  that when you tell your friends, family, or co-workers, they say:  "My child did that too, and he's fine", "All kids go though that stage." Or:  "Boys develop slower than girls do." , "Boys play different than girls."

I believe that you know your child best, and you know when there is something different.

When Stevie was first showing signs of autism (a little before age 2), all my friends told me that I was over-reacting. "He's too attached to you to have autism." But I knew. I saw the signs. I saw him dancing on his tippy toes and staring at the screw in the wall like it was the most exciting thing to cross his path that day; all the while ignoring all the brightly colored toys and siblings beside him.

I saw him in his crib, wiggling his fingers in front of his eyes, giggling.

I watched the sudden un-awareness of others around him.

I watched his progress in language and speech come to a stop.

I was there when he became afraid of his food.

I watched, helpless, as he went into high-pitched screaming fits where everything and anything would make the fits worse, and he'd scream for hours.  Sometimes up to 4 hours straight. Screams. And I'd sit helpless here behind this glowing box searching for help. For ideas. For anything that would help me be a better mom to him. To help him calm down; stop crying.

I knew this was not normal.

It's so hard to know in the depths of your soul,, and yet be told that it's normal; you are over reacting.  I learned to just nod yes, and leave it at that. I knew. He was my child and I just knew he had it.

Mostly, I knew because my first son also has autism. I had already been through this once before.

So hang in there. God gave you this particular child for a very specific purpose. You are the best parent for him (or her) that there ever will be.

God knew. God knows. God has this whole thing planned out.

So don't give up, ok?  God is here with you. He will help you in your time of need.

Until next time,

Merri