I remember when the twins were just about one year old. They were playing together in the living room, and I was thinking about how shockingly beautiful they are to me.
"God, you made them perfect! They are just beautiful!"
"Yes they are, I made them exactly as I intended them to be. And that is how I see you, too."
Struck profoundly by His words to me, and the understanding that I was smack in the presence of a Holy God, I tucked those words in the "do not forget" folder of my heart and sat, processing what He said.
I did not know how God was using those words. But He was, as He crafted together His story; forever enchaining the soon-to-be past to the future.
About a year and a half later, we recognized Sage's autism.
God reminded me of his words, "I made them exactly as I intended them to be. They are perfect." And I was reminded that God is Holy. He doesn't make mistakes. God knew Sage has autism all along. It was only a surprise to me.
Sage's autism is not an oversight by God; it an essential part of His master plan.
It was a hard word-pill to swallow, to let dwell in me and become flesh. To become part of me.
But when a Holy God speaks truth to a heart, that heart is bent toward it until captured.
God taught me to see the beauty in autism over the years. He also has taught me to see myself and others in the the same way. He sees every part of us and says it's good. He created us, and said it is "very good" (Genesis 1:31)
Many times he calls us the Apple of His eye. He passionately pursues us.
Sure, He knows all we do: all our faults, the cellulite in our souls. Still He looks at us and says we are beautiful...more beautiful.
In the words of the King in the story Snoodlerella (by VeggieTales):
I treasure you deeply you're lovely my child.
I think you're beautiful. There's nothing about you I don't truly love.
Of course it is true every word that I say.
Daughter, I am the king and I made you that way.
I delight in your beauty you're wonderfully made.
I knew you before Earth's foundation was laid.
In More Beautiful, Sweet Pea says, "What I thought were imperfections make a world God calls complete"
So often autism is seen as an "imperfection". But God does not.
So often we see ourselves as imperfect, but God does not.
God uses what the world sees as "imperfections" and blends it into his story making it a masterpiece.
Happy Valentines Day everyone!